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Story of my first big find near Glorieta

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I posted this story a few years ago on Nuggetshooter. I thought maybe you guys might get a kick out of reading it again and some may not have read it before. Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy it....

One spring morning in Santa Fe I arrived at work to find all six restrooms in my office building were backed up. This was a terrible thing to happen immediately after an oat bran muffin and a creamy double espresso. For the building manager a problem like this was particularly distressing, and to make matters worse, I was him. After calling a plumber and then being polite while 134 female office workers described the horrors that they experienced on their last trip to the loo, I finally ducked out for lunch and found myself in the local meteorite and fossil shop.

There were many fine meteorite specimens. All displayed very nicely and glittering like jewels. Most of the beautiful ones were just too much for me, but a less expensive specimen would be nice to have. I did not own a meteorite. The owner of the shop approached me as I looked at a small pile of Campo De Cielo meteorites and proceeded to make a sale.

He explained how 15 tons of this hot scrap iron rained down on some desolate plain in Argentina way back when and how the Indians told the Spanish about it when they stumbled down the road. He showed me a big slab that was etched with acid and pointed out the graphite inclusions and the large crystalline structure. We discussed nickel content. He mentioned metal detectors. We were bonded.

I picked up a piece that fit well in my hand. The sweat made it smell metallic. It had a few big dents that made my fingers feel good when I gripped it. It was generally a teardrop shape with a twisted end on it. It captured the total chaos of the whole melting, burning, screaming through the air scene.

It was heavy but not too heavy to throw. I thought that if I got too self important I could just look at this thing and imagine that field in Argentina. If anyone else got too self important it could be used for a miniature re-enactment of that event.

So I bought it and set it in the passenger seat of the truck and drove it back to work. When I pulled up in the parking lot they were digging a big hole. I asked the plumber what the problem was and he said to me, "Some dumb f*#k took the cap off the cleanout and put a rock down the pipe. We can see it on the bore scope!" Sure enough, there on the little screen sitting next to him was a 3 3/4 inch rock nested in a 4 inch sewer line. This was just peaches.

I forgot all about the meteorite as the excrement grew deeper that afternoon, but by the end of the day things were back to normal. I managed to walk out the door about the usual time. As I crossed the parking lot toward my truck I saw that they were mixing concrete to patch the hole in the lot.

The rock that caused the stoppage was laying there all by itself, out to the side, sitting on the black pavement like some sort of aggregate in exile. This was the bastard stone. Bits of toilet paper and smears of crap were clinging to it.

I walked past it and opened the door of my truck. I saw the meteorite sitting there on the seat looking up at me and all of a sudden it hit me just like I was standing in that field in Argentina. I walked over and picked the rock up from the pavement.

The plumber saw me pick it up and he asked me what the hell I was doing. Since we were writing the check I did not answer his question. I asked him how much he was charging us for his services. He told me that the repair would be about $2500.

I went over and picked up the meteorite. I told him that I had just purchased this rock. That it was once the guts of a giant asteroid. It was pulled out of its orbit in the asteroid belt by the gravity of Jupiter. It whizzed around the solar system out of control for a zillion years until 15 tons of it smashed into a field in Argentina. It laid around for a few hundred years in relative peace and then, by some obviously screwed up twist of fate, it wound up here in Santa Fe to be purchased by me.

Here was a rock that had been around the block a time or two. This rock was worth some hard earned cash.

In the other hand I held up the shitty rock. I told him that this rock came from the landscaping along the front of the building. It had travelled 30 feet across the parking lot and twelve feet down a sewer pipe. It was covered in crap and was worth $2500.

I asked him to guess which rock was worth more. He just stood there and looked at me. I tried to hand the shitty rock to him but he would not take it. It now belonged to me.

I had purchased the meteorite that day with the thought that it would help remind me of my smallness in this world, and it certainly does a fine job, but it was the shitty rock that called out to me. That rock was the main focus of concern for over 200 people that morning. After it was removed it sat defiantly on the asphalt with toilet paper stuck to its face waiting for someone to realize how rare and valuable it really was.

What is the true worth of a rock? Yes, the meteorite was cool, but even on the day that I bought it a rogue rock from the bad side of the tracks stole the show. Just a no good rock sentenced to landscape duty until one day it was selected, out of thousands of others just like it, to journey down the turd tube to glory.

How much hot steel falling from heaven does it take to rock your world? One river stone covered in crap will do the trick. You have to acknowledge the importance of a rock like that. It is like ground balancing the soul.

I affectionately named the new piece in my collection "Campo De Bano". I keep it in a plastic zip lock bag on my shelf to preserve the toilet paper and excrement crust. This crust is very delicate and friable! Since it was bagged shortly after it fell it is very fresh. As you open the bag you can actually smell the gasses released from its alien environment! You can see where the stone collided with the crap on the side of the pipe as it entered the sewersphere, and the pattern left by the paper forms little flow lines. Notice that all of the paper is pointed downstream, toward the rear of the specimen... It is oriented!

And get this, it even has provenance! Yes! I have the bill from the plumber, signed and dated, with a notarized certificate that proves this is indeed the rock that he removed from the sewer pipe!

Please don't contact me about specimens. There is less than a kilo of this material in existence. I am donating a portion to science and the rest will remain with me in my ever expanding collection of rare and valuable items.

I will, however, be releasing a short film soon. It will include shocking footage from the bore scope as we search the lines to locate this beauty, and an interview with a 300 lb. budget analyst who claims that he was the last to flush that fateful morn. I have even contacted a company in Bali who can make scratch and sniff post cards of the Campo De Bano main mass so that everyone can be part of the excitement.

Bedrock Bob

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Well, Bob, of all the posts we've ever had on all the forums that ever were (or will be), that is the best I've ever read ... I think Billy needs to give you some kind of prize ... Maybe a special chicken! ... Genius! Thanks for the giggles! ... Cheers, Unc

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Well, Bob, of all the posts we've ever had on all the forums that ever were (or will be), that is the best I've ever read ... I think Billy needs to give you some kind of prize ... Maybe a special chicken! ... Genius! Thanks for the giggles! ... Cheers, Unc

What can I say...nothing. Unc said it all :worship: :worship:

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