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My Trip To Costco


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Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO

buying a large bag of Purina dog chow

for my loyal pet, Molson, the Wonder Dog and was in the

checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since

I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I

didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again... I added that I

probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that

I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with

tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that

it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply

eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally

complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to

mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with

my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because

the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff

an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart

attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore..

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the

world to think of crazy things to say.

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hahhaahah! I was in Dunkin Donuts to buy four dozen doughnouts and the person behind the counter asked me "Is that for here or to go?" and I couldn't think of a comeback. But retired minds do think alike!


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