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Why Southern California is Different From The Rest of America   You may have heard on the news about a southern California man put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found

NO SEX AFTER SURGERY A recent article in the San Francisco Examiner reported that Nancy Pelosi has sued Stanford  Hospital, saying that "after her husband had surgery there, he lost all inte

Cowboy at the Pearly Gates A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked. 'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowbo

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Happy St Patrick's Day (Rude One)


Paddy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.


"Twenty quid " she whispers.


He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the heck, its only twenty quid.


So they hide in the bushes. They're going "at it" for a couple of minutes when all of a sudden a light flashes on them, it's a police officer.


"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.


"I'm making love to me wife," Paddy answers indignantly.


"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."


"Well," Paddy says, "neither did I, until you shined that light in her face.
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CATHOLIC HORSES


A punter was at the horse races playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt. He noticed a Priest step out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.


Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race.

Next race, as the horses lined up, the Priest stepped onto the track. Sure enough, he blessed one of the horses.


The punter made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse won the race.



He collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the Priest would bless next.


He bet big on it, and it won. As the races continued the Priest kept blessing long shots, and each one ended up winning.


The punter was elated. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited for the Priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.



True to his pattern, the Priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day.


This time the priest blessed the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. The punter knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.


He watched dumbfounded as the old nag came in last. In a state of shock, he went to the track area where the Priest was.



Confronting Him, he demanded, 'Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings!'


The Priest nodded wisely and with sympathy.


'Son,' he said, 'that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the last rites.'




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:ROFL::yesss::th::brows::4chsmu1: Man I can relate to that as I used to love going to Santa Anita,Del Mar,Hollywood Park(RIP) and others. BUT dumb question-what is a punter? John

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Put the down, push back from the computer and let'r rip!

Subject: Jeff Gordon, again shows skills/humor

Date: March 22, 2015 10:00:10 AM CDT

shows skills/humor

You might remember
that Jeff Gordon did a Pepsi commercial a while back where he went to
a dealership and did a test drive with the salesman in the car. Really
funny.
Well, one of the media guys came out and said it was all fake so Jeff
did a Pepsi test drive 2 with that guy.
Click on the link below. Hilarious.

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:ROFL: HAWHAWHAWHAWAAHHH!!!! :ROFL:

If he was skeered in that one he woulda keeled over daid in the original..

The first one was much more intense..

SA

PS -- Ohai Don.. Long time no chat.. :4chsmu1:

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I love our bus system here in Brazil. Every small town or village is served by the bus system.

Most have bathrooms, just sit back and sleep if that's what you want to do.

http://video.foxnews.com/v/4133315197001/incredible-video-bus-falls-in-crater-swept-away-by-river/?#sp=show-clips

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Thanks for posting Don ... When I saw that the first time I laughed my butt off when the guy walked away after making the 'sex' change ... funny video!

Mike F

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I have read that his impromptu audiences are all part of the illusion and camera foolery is also involved.......But this one was darn good!

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I have read that his impromptu audiences are all part of the illusion and camera foolery is also involved.......But this one was darn good!

:4chsmu1: Nuh unh. Yer wrong! He reelly iz miajikal and pulz piple apart. REely, he duz!

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CHINESE SICK LEAVE

Hung Chow calls into work and say, "hey I no come

work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach

ache, constipated, I no come work".

The boss says, "you know something Hung Chow,

I really need you today. When I feel sick like you

do, I go to my wife and ask her for sex. That makes

everything better and I go to work. You try that".

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you

say and I feel great. I be at work soon.......

You got nice house".

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One Hung Low and Two Kan Chew so ya got #6 on the dotted line too... :thumbsupanim Getr' done ya ol'horn dog.....had trouble with wannabe # 4 so out the door and lookn' fer more-kudos bud :thumbsupanim John

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Hey HJ # 6 just signed on the dotted line. :yesss::oregonian_winesmiley:

Congrats. But, I didn't get my invite for the bachelor party.

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