Au Seeker 3,173 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 I have seen that before, I don't know why we don't have the same policy here in the USA!!!The only way you can be a victim, is to be undefended, or be surprised, I would rather be surprised, but being aware of your surrounding you will less likely be surprised, if your undefended your on the short end of the stick aware or not. Skip Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mike Furness 1,515 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 The last words on that video are the truest words spoken. "the tools to that are guns!" Meaning the tools for that guys freedoms are guns! Here! Here!I didn't know that about Switzerland ... I thought all of Europe had strict gun controls! And how about ammo being passed out by the Government for the target event ... now there is a better use of funds! Have the people defend themselves and the crime rate as well as the bill for government protection of the people will be less! Just my :twocents: worth for the morning.Mike F Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 Skid marks & rope burns!!!!BAGHDAD Iraq's government spokesman says Saddam Hussein's notorious cousin "Chemical Ali" was executed Monday about a week after being sentenced to death for the poison gas attacks that killed more than 5,000 Kurds in 1988... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted January 26, 2010 Author Share Posted January 26, 2010 Airport SecurityWhy spend millions on hi-tech 'full-body' scanners for every airport?Surely it would be cheaper to just have a hostess at the check-in, handing out bacon on cocktail sticks. Anyone who doesn't eat it doesn't fly. Simple.Gets rid of the vegetarians into the bargain. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Finally found out the source of ALL my computer problems... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ron l. 0 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 hey mike, thanks much for the link to the oldies, fantasticgarimpo thank you and everyone else for putting some great stuff on hear. very much appriciated, again, thanks much. ron Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 The Purina Diet...in case you missed it the last time....Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chowfor my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout linewhen a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and havelittle to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I wasstarting the Purina Diet again...I added that I probably shouldn't,because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming outof most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way thatit works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simplyeat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionallycomplete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have tomention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled withmy story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dogfood poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and acar hit us both.I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he waslaughing so hard.Costco won't let me shop there anymore.Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in theworld to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends.......it will betheir laugh for the day. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'arthritis.' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 A Cool piece of history Starting in 1941, an increasing number of British Airmen found themselves as the involuntary guests of the Third Reich, and the Crown was casting about for ways and means to facilitate their escape.. Now obviously, one of the most helpful aids to that end is a useful and accurate map, one showing not only where stuff was, but also showing the locations of 'safe houses' where a POW on-the-lam could go for food and shelter. Paper maps had some real drawbacks -- they make a lot of noise when you open and fold them, they wear out rapidly, and if they get wet, they turn into mush. Someone in MI-5 (similar to America 's OSS ) got the idea of printing escape maps on silk. It's durable, can be scrunched-up into tiny wads, and unfolded as many times as needed, and makes no noise whatsoever. At that time, there was only one manufacturer in Great Britain that had perfected the technology of printing on silk, and that was John Waddington, Ltd. When approached by the government, the firm was only too happy to do its bit for the war effort. By pure coincidence, Waddington was also the U.K. Licensee for the popular American board game, Monopoly. As it happened, 'games and pastimes' was a category of item qualified for insertion into 'CARE packages', dispatched by the International Red Cross to prisoners of war. Under the strictest of secrecy, in a securely guarded and inaccessible old workshop on the grounds of Waddington's, a group of sworn-to-secrecy employees began mass-producing escape maps, keyed to each region of Germany or Italy where Allied POW camps were regional system).. When processed, these maps could be folded into such tiny dots that they would actually fit inside a Monopoly playing piece.> As long as they were at it, the clever workmen at Waddington's also managed to add: 1. A playing token, containing a small magnetic compass 2. A two-part metal file that could easily be screwed together 3. Useful amounts of genuine high-denomination German, Italian, and French currency, hidden within the piles of Monopoly money! British and American air crews were advised, before taking off on their first mission, how to identify a 'rigged' Monopoly set -- by means of a tiny red dot, one cleverly rigged to look like an ordinary printing glitch, located in the corner of the Free Parking square. Of the estimated 35,000 Allied POWS who successfully escaped, an estimated one-third were aided in their flight by the rigged Monopoly sets.. Everyone who did so was sworn to secrecy indefinitely, since the British Government might want to use this highly successful ruse in still another, future war. The story wasn't declassified until 2007, when the surviving craftsmen from Waddington's, as well as the firm itself, were finally honored in a public ceremony. It's always nice when you can play that 'Get Out of Jail' Free' card! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Terry Soloman 963 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 One more thing I've learned from you Garimpo :whoope: - Thank You! - Terry Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 A romantic lesson for Valentine's.....THE BLACK BRA....................I had lunch with two of my unmarried friends.One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have beenmarried for 20+ years.We were chatting about our relationships, and decidedto amaze our men by greeting them at the doorwearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.Here's how it all went:My engaged friend:The other night when my boyfriend cameover he found me with a black leather bodice, tallstilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You areThe woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we madepassionate love all night long.The Mistress:Me, too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.Then I had to share my story:When my husband came home I, too, was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.When he came in the door and saw me he said,"What's for dinner,Batman? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
VegasRocker 0 Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 "What's for dinner,Batman? :yuk-yuk: :hahaha: :lol: Thanks Mr. G......my wife and I had a good laugh at this one!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 10, 2010 Author Share Posted February 10, 2010 Blonde Phone Call"Hi Mom, How are you?""Hi Sally, where are you? I thought you were with your father at the Ace Hardware""Yeah we were, but I got arrested, and they've let me make one phone call""What happened?""Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the head.""What on earth ~ why did you do that ?????""Well it wasn't my fault.Dad told me to find a Black & Decker." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Share Posted February 11, 2010 Some people never learn how bad smoking is for your health... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 QuickieA Right Wing Republican checked into a motel, and said to the desk clerk: "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.""No," she said, "it's just regular porn, you sick ba$tard." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 For Largo...Happy Birthday...Wisdom Comes With AgeThis guy is 70 years old and loves to fish.He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."He looked around and couldn't see any one..He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.The man said, "Are you talking to me?"The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I' ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!"The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."With age comes wisdom...(sometimes) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
VegasRocker 0 Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 The Air CrewWhile the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I..s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan ' An old MSgt. sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, 'Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman? ' When the attendant came by he said 'Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?' 'Yes,'! said the attendant, 'In fact, this entire crew is female.' 'My God,' he said, 'I wish I had two double scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit.' 'That's another thing, Sergeant,' said the crew member, 'We No Longer Call It The Cockpit' ........... 'It's The Box Office.' B) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 Yea V.R.....nice pic...it's been around now for quite awhile...first time I saw it theysaid they were flying a KC-135 tanker...the instrument panel and flight deck.aka "cock-pit" aka "box office"is for a plane with four engines..just don't know which AC...I once had a female Capt. on one of my flights to UAE during "desert storm"...we flew from Travis AFB in CA. to United ArabEmerants...she was a good crew member...good person...good pilot and I told her so but also addedI was better...she said prove it...I did on the next landing at Wright Patterson AFB..scared the $hit out of her...good memories... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 13, 2010 Author Share Posted February 13, 2010 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 In Aceh Indonesia, Islamic police take to the streetsIslamic police in Aceh, Indonesia, patrol daily for women wearing tight clothes and unmarried couples sitting too close.Sharia police in Banda Aceh, Indonesia, reprimand two women for wearing trousers that they regard as too tight, in December 2009. The police unit, called the "Wilayatul Hisbah", patrolled the beach to look for unmarried couples, Muslim women without headscarves or those wearing tight clothes, and people drinking alcohol or gambling. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 22, 2010 Author Share Posted February 22, 2010 THE INTERNET IN FLORIDAWHO SAYS THE SENIORS IN FLORIDA DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE USE OF THE INTERNET?FOXY LADY - KINGS POINT:Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.LONG-TERM COMMITMENT - BOCA TEECA:Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problemSERENITY NOW: - CENTURYVILLAGE-LYONS ROAD :I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.WINNING SMILE - TamaracActive grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.BEATLES OR STONES? - Boca LagoI still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapesMEMORIES ARE MADE OF THIS - SunriseI can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.IN MINT CONDITION - DELRAY BEACHMale, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 This came from a Marine's wife. It says it all:I sat, as did millions of Other Americans,And watched as the government under went aPeaceful transition of power a few months ago..At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotismWhile Barack Obama took his Oath of officeHowever, all that prideQuickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines,In full dress uniform with rifles,Fire a 21-gun salute to the President.It was then that I realized how farAmerica 's Military had deteriorated.Every darn one of them missed the ba$taRd. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 24, 2010 Author Share Posted February 24, 2010 The 5 Riddles....THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FIVE RIDDLES I HAVE SEEN.... THE ANSWERS ARE AT THE BOTTOM. RIDDLE #5 IS AMAZING. IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN AND STALLS ALZHEIMER 'S FOR YEARS! 1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him? 2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be? 3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away? 4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday? 5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it. It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE OF THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW: 1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right? 2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung). 3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing. 4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow! 5. The letter 'e', which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 25, 2010 Author Share Posted February 25, 2010 Anybody care to guess who's going to win this tug-of-war match? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garimpo 2,296 Posted February 26, 2010 Author Share Posted February 26, 2010 You want fast??...here it is!!http://mikrokopter.de/ucwiki/VideoAbspielen?id=188 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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