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Meds are us!!

There's a new anti-depressant for lesbians on

the market: Trycoxagain.

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The Redneck went to the hospital... as his wife was having a baby. After arriving, the Nurse

says "Congratulations, your wife just had quints, 5 big baby boys."

The Redneck says, "I'm not surprised, I have a penis on me like a chimney." The nurse replies, "You might want

to consider getting it cleaned... the babies are all black."

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IS THIS WIERD OR WHAT

This year we wil experience 4 unusal dates 1/1/11 1/11/11 11/1/11 11/11/11

NOW go figgure this out ...take the last two digits of the year you were born plus the age you will be this year and it will EQUAL ....111

Rodd

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GENERAL PUBLIC NOTICE:

"Please be advised I am sick to death of receiving questions about my dog, who mauled three (3) Muslims sitting

on a rug next to my back wall, six (6) illegals wearing Obama t-shirts, four (4) Democrats wearing Pelosi t-

shirts, two (2) rappers, five (5) phone operators who asked me to press #1 for English, nine (9) teenagers with

their pants hanging down past their cracks, eight (8) customer service desk people speaking in broken English,

ten (10) flag burners, and a Pakistani taxi driver. FOR THE LAST TIME......THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE !!!"

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Oklahoma Cow

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota . He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale down in Oklahoma .

He drives to Oklahoma , finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls ..... the cow farts. Ole is kind of surprised. He looks at the Okie farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again.

He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow and take it home.

When he gets back to Minnesota , he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, 'Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens.'

Sven reaches under, pulls th e teat and the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, 'You bought dis here cow in Oklahoma , didn't yah?'

Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip. Ole replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how did you know?'

Sven says, 'My wife is from Oklahoma.”

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In the

1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed

to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.

Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'

:inocent:

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Two Girls that could hurt you Real Good! LOL!

http://www.jokeroo.com/bin/player.swf?5f9f_f369

G'Day homefire

That's funny.

I sent that to Don not long ago, but he couldn't get it to work

Cheers

Johnno

Many years ago in

Scotland , a new game was

invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen

Only...Ladies Forbidden'.. .and thus, the word GOLF entered

into the English language

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G'Day homefire

That's funny.

I sent that to Don not long ago, but he couldn't get it to work

Cheers

Johnno

Many years ago in

Scotland , a new game was

invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen

Only...Ladies Forbidden'.. .and thus, the word GOLF entered

into the English language

$hit it still won't work!!!!

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Time to shake it till you break it...let it all hang out...

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Here Ya Go! This one should work.

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Here Ya Go! This one should work.

It's slow but it works...thanks homefire

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With what's happening in Egypt, which is really sad. I suppose BO is getting deja-vu. The people will rule

There's no emoticon for PO,PO,PO,PO,PO

Cheers

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It was the accepted

practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the

wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with

all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because

their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the

honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale

is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when

customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind

your pints and quarts, and settle down.'

It's where we get

the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'

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Many years ago in

England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or

handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill ,

they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle'

is the phrase inspired by this practice.

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Don't delete this

just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee

taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The

phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at

Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the

ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the

first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a

taotl mses and you

can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This

is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by

istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

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Men can read smaller

print than women can; women can hear better.

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Don't delete this

just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee

taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The

phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at

Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the

ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the

first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a

taotl mses and you

can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This

is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by

istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Jhnono,

Waht?

I coludn,t undrestnad any of taht!!!! :whaaaa: :whaaaa:

You msut be broed tdoay??? :zapped:

Sikp

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APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH; ADAGE

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humour, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 am - it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game." when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old men and old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies ! ) No! Say it isn't so!

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Yaris.

19.. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!

Always be yourself.

Because the people that matter don't mind,

and the ones that mind, don't matter.

Rodd

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