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1 hour ago, Swampstomper Al said:

I can't believe entities such as CBS still use Flash..
There may be a more unsafe player out there, but I can't think of one off the top of my head..

Swamp

Al I agree, but I know the devil made you post that :evil1:.....look at your post count!! :yikes:

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19 hours ago, Au Seeker said:

Al I agree, but I know the devil made you post that :evil1:.....look at your post count!! :yikes:

BION I saw that, so tnx 4 the like to turn that tumbler.. If anything methinks that # had
something to do with my van jumping time.. Backfiring thru the carb is never a good thing..

Swamp

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Remember, Guests Are Coming This Summer ...
 
Little Travis was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when 2 people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
 
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth.  "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
 
Little Travis just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.
 
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not  called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds! ... and Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you!!"
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7 hours ago, Hoser John said:

Sent ya a list of great ones this am G, hope they make it to ya-put down the coffee or drink---John

The warning to set down the coffee or drink is a +1 in the LOL dep't all by itself, lol..! :D

Swamp

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Speaking of weird things Don has gone? Hope he's filing his pockets with pounds of gold- :yesss:John

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9 hours ago, Hoser John said:

Speaking of weird things Don has gone? Hope he's filing his pockets with pounds of gold- :yesss:John

Been wondering the same thing.. Saw his forum in bold so dropped by to see what he'd posted..

Swamp

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                                                        "Jesus Loves You."
                                   Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison.
 
Hi all, I'm back. Too long a vacation. 
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Holy Cow, Don...what was up with that, if you don't mind me asking, Cheers, Unc

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As far as I know (or should that now be knew?) for vacation to be too long before being declared over is by either running out of cash or maxing out all possible lines of credit -- or both.. The only exception to this rule is if vacation somehow includes relatives, which strict-interpretation technically speaking should render whatever-the-heck it is you've been doing out there all this time as null-and-void due to even ever being allowed to have been labeled as 'vacation' in the first place..

Swamp

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Started out a simple fishing vacation (almost froze to death, 40°-0630 in a bass boat going 50 MPH. Then at night the kid put the AC on 66°, only a little better than the boat. 

Then started the med. exams: blood tested good, chest x-ray caused a catscan, it caused a petscan, all together with my 20% still emptied the cash box. At least not any real bad news. 

Swamp  you pretty much got it right on. 

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The 2 AM Call
 
Hillary phoned the president's office shortly after midnight. “I need to talk to the president, it’s an emergency!”, exclaimed Hillary 
 
After some cajoling, the president's.assistant agreed to wake him up. 
 
“So, what is it that’s so important that it can’t wait until morning?”, grumbled Trump. 
 
“A Supreme Court Judge just died, and I want to take his place.”, begged Hillary.
 
“Well, it’s OK with me if it’s OK with the mortician”, replied President Trump.
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Back At The Parlour
 
An old woman is upset at her husband’s funeral. "You have him in a brown suit and I wanted him in a blue suit" The mortician says "We’ll take care of it, ma’am" and yells back ‘"Ed, switch the heads on two and four!"
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  • 2 weeks later...

He's all good with it. He's as messed up in da head so just another day for him. lol

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Life in California ... 
 
A Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and told the driver that because he had been wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in the  statewide safety competition. "What are you going to do with the  money?" asked the policeman.
 
"Well, I guess I'm going to get a driver's license," he answered.
 
"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled a  woman in the passenger seat. "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
 
This  woke up the guy in the back seat who took one look at the cop and  moaned, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."
 
At that moment,  there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, in Spanish, "Are we  over the border yet?"
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                                                  Deep Thoughts ...

There are three religious truths:
  a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
  b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
  c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

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15 hours ago, garimpo said:

                                                  Deep Thoughts ...

There are three religious truths:
  a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
  b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
  c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

Punch line in that reminded me of the old saw, around here in Mormon country, that if you go prospecting with Mormon friends you always go with a minimum of two. If you only go with one, he'll drink all your beer.

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