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garimpo

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garimpo last won the day on June 8

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About garimpo

  • Rank
    Original American
  • Birthday 12/12/1942

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    d.goldmartin@uol.com.br
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    Male
  • Location
    Brazil
  • Interests
    gold-gold-gold

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  1. garimpo

    Weird $tuff

    A Brazil Restaurant Visit.... Last week, I took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Igor's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'' 'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.' As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed. After paying I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?' 'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%. I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?' 'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
  2. garimpo

    Sharing Finds

    Yea RD snakes worry me a lot, especially in those conditions. Besides almost impossible to bust your way through is the worry of someone starting a fire upwind from you. In that pic I had just made my way through the thickest part so the Toyota was about another 50 feet in front of me in a clear spot. Leaving in a few minutes to check out another spot just like that one, maybe hit it tomorrow early.
  3. garimpo

    Sharing Finds

    Went to a place today nobody in their right minds would beep, no gold but a lot of grass cuts.
  4. garimpo

    Weird $tuff

    On Marriage AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, 'HONEY, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL. NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 65- YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS ..' MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV. AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS.
  5. garimpo

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

    A Poem'Twas the night before electionsAnd all through the townTempers were flaringEmotions all up and down!I, in my bathrobeWith a cat in my lapHad cut off the TVTired of political crap.When all of a suddenThere arose such a noiseI peered out of my windowSaw Obama and his boysThey had come for my walletThey wanted my payTo give to the othersWho had not worked a day!He snatched up my moneyAnd quick as a winkJumped back on his bandwagonAs I gagged from the stinkHe then rallied his henchmenWho were pulling his cartI could tell they were outTo tear my country apart!On Fannie, on Freddie,On Biden and Ayers!On Acorn, On Pelosi'He screamed at the pairs!They took off for his causeAnd as he flew out of sightI heard him laugh at the nationWho wouldn't stand up and fight!So I leave you to thinkOn this one final note-IF YOU DON'T WANT SOCIALISMGET OUT AND VOTE!!!!
  6. garimpo

    Weird $tuff

    After my prostate exam the doctor left and the nurse came in..... as she shut the door whe whispered three words no man wants to hear.... " WHO WAS THAT?"
  7. garimpo

    Weird $tuff

    Subject: The Dreaded Phone Call My boss phoned me today. He said, "Is everything OK at the office?" I said, "It is all under control. It's been a very busy day. I haven't stopped to take a break all day." "Can you do me a favor?" he asked. I said "Of course, What is it?" "Pick up the pace a little. I'm in the foursome behind you."
  8. garimpo

    Weird $tuff

    Bad Eyesight Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went." His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down, she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try." "That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help." "He may be a hundred and three," says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect." So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law. "Did you see the ball?" "Of course I did!" replies the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight." "Where did it go?" asks Arthur. "I don't remember."
  9. garimpo

    Sharing Finds

    My VLF underwater detector I was using yesterday. Gary Storm of Detector Pro made this at least 25 years ago with permission of Fisher Detectors. I don't remember the Fisher model he used but I think it's a coin machine. All the controls are in the ear phones, really handy.
  10. garimpo

    Sharing Finds

    My creek yesterday, I've crossed this a thousand times in 20 years, only beeped it yesterday. Behind me upstream is the farm house 1/4 mile and behind it about 3 hundred yards a sucker pump has been mining for three years, fine gold. The owner last year told me his % was 10 grams a week.For me he could have all the pieces I found ( rusty wire and nails). That entire creek is solid bedrock, perfect gold traps everywhere, also rusty wire.
  11. garimpo

    Weird $tuff

    First Blond Guy Joke The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait! An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.' The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, 'Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.' The blond e opened his lunch and s aid, ' Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too.' The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!' The Mexican's! wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much.' (Oh this is GOOD!!)? Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, 'Don't look at me. The idiot made his own lunch.'
  12. garimpo

    HONOR THE FALLEN...

    A GOOD READ ON MILITARY HISTORY Remembering the Meuse - Argonne Offensive Largest battle involving US troops, more than 26,000 of whom were killed one hundred years ago... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meuse-Argonne_Offensive
  13. garimpo

    Sharing Finds

    A lot of fires here, big black cinders all over town from the ranches burning. Since it's illegal to burn here the ranchers blame the prospectors and the prospectors blame the ranchers. Then the Military Police set up road blocks all over the place and search many of the vehicles. If they find any prospecting equipment it gets confiscated. Rules here are different than there about searching a vehicle, the PM just say "get out".
  14. garimpo

    Sunday morning hunt

    It's so abvious that the "old timer" did it again. Good hearted old Bill, the teacher let the student win so she wouldn't loose interest and in doing so pull all you other old timers on like an old boot.
  15. garimpo

    Sharing Finds

    When I first got here in 1996 this town had about 22,000 residents. Then a few years later a big gold mine open up just North of here, then another one South of here. There went the small town, now around 42,000. Back in 96 maybe 10 prospectors with very old Whites and Garrett coin machines. I saw one that had the wires hanging out the bottom of the coil but amazing it still beeped on gold. Back then the gold was big and shallow so they had no problems finding good gold. Then I showed it with the first ever super detector (SD2000) in Brazil. The locals never ask the owners of the ranches for permission and they sure as shooting aint gonna pay a %. So they will park their cars, usually 4-5 to a car in another location and walk in, sometimes a couple of miles to walk in. Then I show up and start asking the ranch owner for authorization, never got turned down and always paid them 10%, if I used their tractor then it was a 50/50 split. Soon as the locals heard me driving in on the ranch where they were hiding in the trees by that time, they would see me digging big deep holes and back filling them so they started coming by my house asking questions. They all wanted me to buy them a big SD and they would pay me later. Still thinking about it! I guess now it's been three years ago we had a big prospectors meeting and in this town and four other less then 100 km from here there are over 150 prospectors and most with the big Minelabs. Most of them work at it full time. So I try to keep out thinking them even they have some advantage with grandpa's and dad's that were prospectors years ago. Lately I've been thinking that none of them have underwater detectors that I know of. Recently had a little luck with mine as you can see with my latest post. So today I made a trade, boots in above post.
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