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~Motivational Thought for the Day ~This little animal is called the Naked

Mole Rat and is from East Africa

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So if you are having a bad day

and feeling sorry for yourself,

remember:

You could look like a penis with buck teeth...

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For Largo...Happy Birthday...

Wisdom Comes With Age

This guy is 70 years old and loves to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."

He looked around and couldn't see any one..

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I' ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!"

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

With age comes wisdom...(sometimes)

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Hi Don,

Hey thanks for the birthday wish I failed to notice!

Looking at the modern day "lovelies" crewing the super transports reminded me of the time we had been TDY in Florida for a few weeks for "special training".

We had flown non-stop cross country, in a C-135, knee to knee, in those hammock seats where there is no comfort, and moving around is difficult at best, when the a/c is stuffed max with folks and pallets.

There had been a LOT of turbulance, the barf bags were passed out, and its one of those things when one person gets sick, then its not long until another does the same. The malady seems to feed on itself, until the greater part of the passengers are heaving their guts.

To top it all off, looking out of the few windows that are available on those jets, someone commented,as we did a final approach to our home field, "this landing should be interesting"... What the individual was referring to, was the fact that it had been a very hot day, and as a result of that, the winds were blowing hard from the south to north at the airport, picking up that very fine dust found in the desert to the south. Wheels down, we made our descent we made the final gliding approach, touchdown was imminent, the runway below flew by quickly, we in the back were anxious to feel the "wheels down" and rollout. That didn't happen, power was applied, and back around we went, for another try. Second time, same thing, too much crosswinds to land, so around again, we went, third time is a charm...we hope. This time we finally landed, hit hard, did a bounceroo, then the engines went quiet briefly, then reversed for additional braking, until we rolled out, and taxied to the tarmac.

Once we stopped, we found out that the pilot was a young female officer, rank I didn't find out, probably a butter bar, (if they let them fly those big planes), and this was her first severe cross wind landing. The rest of the story was, that the control tower wanted us to divert to Mountain Home Air Force Base, about 40 miles to the south, but we didn't have enough fuel for to divert that far, and likely not enough fuel for another go around, so she had to make the next landing attempt stick, which she did, and, HARD. Observers on the ground said when we hit, we did about a 20 foot bounce in that big plane, but we all made it safely home, another great adventure...

~LARGO~

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Hey Largo...what year was that hard landing? Must have been awhile ago since the C-135

has been out of service for several years now...some of the Air Force Reserve units

still had them in the 70's....

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Hi Don,

I think the above trip was in the very late 80's.

I know we went to Alconbury RAF, England in the late 80's, with the Air Guard rode in a KC135, so I lounged on the refueling guys cot, so to speak, in the back, nice view.

Went to Paris,France, again C-135 in '93, went to several locations there, the best being a stop in Monaco, later on to San Jose, Costa Rica non stop from Boise, in 1994, in a C-130, about ran out of fuel on that one, as well, never had an aircraft BACK into a parking spot, until that trip. That is quite a long way without refueling, now that I look at a world globe. Greeted by lots of little no-nonsense guys covered with bandoliers and automatic rifles as big a they were, getting ready to go out on patrol, in the area along the Nicaragua/Costa Rica border, I would suspect.

I never had the opportunity to ride in a C-5 or other more modern military trasport. You need to realize, when I first went into the military, there were still C-119's the old flying boxcar, as well as C-123's still hauling folks around.

Why when I went into the early air force, we handed the bombs to the guy in the back seat (bombardier) of the biplane, so's he could throw 'em out at the bad guys...well, that is a stretch, but I did have an old master sergeant that said that was what they did when he was a young armorer pup. Beyond that, if you can imagine, he also told me, those old biplane fighters didn't have much as all, maybe nothing for brakes, so there would have to be 2 guys leaning on the front of each wing, somehow, to keep the plane from creeping forward, then the pilot would get his engine going like hell, then the guys doing the wing thing would duck under the wings, and off the old plane would go. Ah, those were the days...

~LARGO~

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Here's what part of the sky looked like just before Katrina hit in 2005...

if you ever see something like this and your not looking out of a cellar

calmly sit down and say a quick prayer...put your head between your legs...

hands behind your head...then kiss your ass goodby...

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Typical Oklahoma Baby Boy

A Okie is drinking in a New York bar when he had a call on his cell phone.

He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar announcing his wife has produced a typical Oklahoma baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds,but the Okie just shrugs, "That's about average down home, folks, like I said, my boy's a typical Oklahoma baby boy. "

Congratulations showered him from al l around, and many exclamations of "WOW!" We heard one woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.

Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say you're the father of that typical Oklahoma baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So how much does he weigh now?

The proud father answers,"Seventeen pounds." The bartender is puzzled, concerned, and a littlesuspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"

The Okie father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Brahma Extra beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve,leans into the bartender and proudly says, ..........."Had'm circumcised."

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Dietersare you using drugs to loose weight?

what are the side affects?.and the cost? why not go back to

the old fashioned tried and true method...no drugs what so ever...

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A lady was telling her neighbor that she saw a man driving a pick-up truck down the interstate, and a dog was hanging onto the tailgate for dear life! She said if the pick-up truck driver hadn't been going so fast in the other direction, she would have tried to stop him.

A few weeks later, her neighbor saw this truck at the local Bass Pro Shop.

The pick-up truck driver is a local TEXAS taxidermist with a great sense of humor! Taxidermists are a twisted lot anyway!

And it is not a dog in the first Place; it is a Coyote.

Can you imagine how many people tried to stop this guy? Now, scroll down.

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To see that sometimes justice is done right really give you a

good feeling....

Taser "Victims"

Yeah, right.. Funny how they clean up their act

These videos were taken during the arrest of the suspects without their knowledge.

They are not the usual ones you see of a guy getting Tasered. The video is part of the Taser itself and it records what happens leading up to zapping the suspect.

Hard to dispute video evidence. Shave, haircut, shower, and new suit is what the public sees, the media reports, and the lawyers thrive on........

...sometimes it doesn’t work.

Click Here

http://www.youtube.com/swf/l.swf?video_id=v7cbfaRRqn0

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I was sunbathing naked at the beach.

For the sake of civility, and to keep it from

Getting sunburned, I had a hat over my privates.

A woman walks past and says, snickering,

"If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."

I raised an eyebrow and replied,

"If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself."

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All that just so I can make my morning coffee

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This float was in a parade in Berlin :

You've got to love those Germans...

They have a great sense of humor!

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Is that Hillary... ??

What is she hanging on to?

Answer:

His stimulus package.

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1906 San Francisco Street Car film

This is well worth viewing. It was filmed 4 days before the '06 earthquake. You'll appreciate the research that it took to date this film so be sure to read this first . . .

Here's a neat opportunity to enjoy some time travel. The film is from a streetcar traveling down Market Street in San Francisco, four days before the big earthquake/fire that destroyed the area. You can clearly see the clock tower at the end of the street at the Embarcadero wharf that's still there... The quality and detail is great, so be sure to view it full screen.

The film, was originally thought to be from 1905 until David Kiehn with the Niles Essanay Silent Film Museum figured out exactly when it was shot. From New York trade papers announcing the film showing to the wet streets from recent heavy rainfall and shadows indicating time of year and actual weather and conditions on historical record. Even when the cars were registered (he even knows who owned them and when the plates were issued!).

It was filmed only four days before the quake and shipped by train to NY for processing. Amazing but true!

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=NINOxRxze9k

Amazing too, how many people are on the streets... crossing back and forth. I was surprised to see so many vehicles (machines) and they drove every which way. I guess there were no "rules of the road" back then.... would love to see the same street TODAY!




			
		

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PSA-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TOP 10 INDICATORS YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO OBAMACARE:

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "an apple a day."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

And the #1 sign you've joined OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a popsicle stick and duct tape!

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Potato Prostitute

Two little potatoes are standing

on the street corner. One is a

prostitute.

How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

You're gonna love it...

It's the one with the little sticker that says....

I - DA - HO

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darn! I love your jokes Gar, :hahaha: :thumbsupanim I just hate cleaning coffee off my computer screen and keyboard! :arrowheadsmiley: Terry

Potato Prostitute

Two little potatoes are standing

on the street corner. One is a

prostitute.

How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

You're gonna love it...

It's the one with the little sticker that says....

I - DA - HO

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lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots,

But they only know how to say one thing.'

'What do they say?' the priest inquired.

They say,

'Hi, we're hookers!

Do you want to have some fun?'

That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,

Then he thought for a moment.

'You know,' he said,

'I may have a solution to your problem.

I have two male talking parrots,

Which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house,

And we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,

And your parrots are sure to stop saying . ..

That phrase .. . In no time.'

Thank you,' the woman responded,

'this may very well be the solution.'

The next day,

She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.

As he ushered her in,

She saw that his two male parrots

Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed,

She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes,

The female parrots cried out in unison:

Hi, we're hookers!

Do you want to have some fun?'

There was stunned silence.

Shocked,

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot

And exclaimed,

'Put the beads away, Frank.

Our prayers have been answered!'

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