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Fifteen reasons why men have 2 dogs and not 2 wives

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
 
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
 
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
 
4. A dog's parents never visit.
 
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
 
6. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
 
7. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
 
8. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
 
9. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
 
10. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, 'If I died, would you get another dog?'
 
11. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
 
12. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
 
13. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
 
14. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
 
And last, but not least:
 
15. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff
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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE, HOPE 2018 IS YOUR BEST YEAR YET!

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Happy New Year to you as well Don, I hope this year is a much better year for you!!

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Don ... May the Gold Gods look favorably upon you in 2018! Happy New Year!

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This is one of the cleverest

E-mails I've received in a while.
 
Someone out there

Must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
 
Wait till you see the last one!
 
It's going to be hard to top because
It fits to a "T"
 
 
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
 
 
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
 
 
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
 
 
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:

THEY SEE
 
 
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:

HE BUGS GORE
 
 
 
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
 
 
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
 
 
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:

CASH LOST IN ME
 
 
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
 
 
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
 
 
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
 
 
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
 
 
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
 

AND FINALLY....
FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
 
 
 

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
 
 
 

When you rearrange the letters:
An Arab Backed Imposter
 
 
 
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Thought you would appreciate this one. 

Even if you’ve never testified in court before, you probably wish you could do it as well as this police officer did. While being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial, the lawyer tried to undermine his credibility by asking some round about questions to trip him up. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out so well…

Q: “Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?”

A: “No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.”

Q: “Officer — who provided this description?”

A: “The officer who responded to the scene.”

Q: “A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?”

A: “Yes, sir. With my life.”

Q: “With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?”

A: “Yes sir, we do!”

Q: “And do you have a locker in the room?”

Q: “And do you have a lock on your locker?”

A: “Yes sir.”

Q: “Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?”

A: “You see, sir — we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

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Old Aviators and Old Airplanes.....

This is a good little story about a vivid memory of a P-51 and its pilot by a fellow who was 12 years old in Canada in 1967. You may know a few others who would appreciate it.

It was noon on a Sunday as I recall, the day a Mustang P-51 was to take to the air. They said it had flown in during the night from some U.S. airport, the pilot had been tired.  I marveled at the size of the plane dwarfing the Pipers and Canucks tied down by her.  It was much larger than in the movies. She glistened in the sun like a bulwark of security from days gone by.

The pilot arrived by cab, paid the driver, and then stepped into the flight lounge. He was an older man; his wavy hair was gray and tossed. Looked like it might have been combed, say, around the turn of the century.

His flight jacket was checked, creased and worn - it smelled old and genuine. Old Glory was prominently sewn to its shoulders. He projected a quiet air of proficiency and pride devoid of arrogance. He filed a quick flight plan to Montreal (Expo-67, Air Show) then walked across the tarmac.

After taking several minutes to perform his walk-around check the pilot returned to the flight lounge to ask if anyone would be available to stand 
by with fire extinguishers while he "flashed the old bird up. Just to be safe."

Though only 12 at the time I was allowed to stand by with an extinguisher after brief instruction on its use -- "If you see a fire, point, then pull this lever!"  I later became a firefighter, but that's another story.

The air around the exhaust manifolds shimmered like a mirror from fuel fumes as the huge prop started to rotate.  One manifold, then another, and yet another barked -- I stepped back with the others. In moments the Packard-built Merlin engine came to life with a thunderous roar, blue flames knifed from her manifolds.  I looked at the others' faces, there was no concern.  I lowered the bell of my extinguisher. One of the guys signaled to 
walk back to the lounge.  We did.

Several minutes later we could hear the pilot doing his pre flight run-up.  He'd taxied to the end of runway 19, out of sight.  All went quiet for several seconds; we raced from the lounge to the second story deck to see if we could catch a glimpse of the P-51 as she started down the runway.  We could not.

There we stood, eyes fixed to a spot half way down 19.  Then a roar ripped across the field, much louder than before, like a furious hell spawn set loose---something mighty this way was coming.  "Listen to that thing!" said the controller.  In seconds the Mustang burst into our line of sight.

Its tail was already off and it was moving faster than anything I'd ever seen by that point on 19.  Two-thirds the way down 19 the Mustang was airborne with her gear going up.  The prop tips were supersonic; we clasped our ears as the Mustang climbed hellish fast into the circuit to be eaten up by the dog-day haze.

We stood for a few moments in stunned silence trying to digest what we'd just seen.  The radio controller rushed by me to the radio. " Kingston tower calling Mustang?" He looked back to us as he waited for an acknowledgment.

The radio crackled, "Go ahead Kingston."  "Roger Mustang. Kingston tower would like to advise the circuit is clear for a low level pass."  I stood in shock because the controller had, more or less, just asked the pilot to return for an impromptu air show!

The controller looked at us. "What?" He asked. "I can't let that guy go without asking.  I couldn't forgive myself!"

The radio crackled once again, "Kingston, do I have permission for a low level pass, east to west, across the field?"  "Roger Mustang, the circuit is clear for an east to west pass."  "Roger, Kingston, I'm coming out of 3000 feet, stand by."

We rushed back onto the second-story deck, eyes fixed toward the eastern haze.  The sound was subtle at first, a high-pitched whine, a muffled screech, a distant scream. Moments later the P-51 burst through the haze. Her airframe straining against positive Gs and gravity, wing tips spilling contrails of condensed air, prop-tips again supersonic as the burnished bird blasted across the eastern margin of the field shredding and tearing the air.

At about 400 mph and 150 yards from where we stood she passed with the old American pilot saluting.  Imagine.  A salute!  I felt like laughing, I felt like crying, she glistened, she screamed, the building shook, my heart pounded.

Then the old pilot pulled her up and rolled, and rolled, and rolled out of sight into the broken clouds and indelibly into my memory.

I've never wanted to be an American more than on that day.  It was a time when many nations in the world looked to America as their big brother, a steady and even-handed beacon of security who navigated difficult political water with grace and style; not unlike the pilot who'd just flown into my memory.
He was proud, not arrogant, humble, not a braggart, old and honest, projecting an aura of America at its best. That America will return one day, I know it will.

Until that time, I'll just send off this story; call it a reciprocal salute, to the old American pilot who wove a memory for a young Canadian that's lasted a lifetime.

Forward to your Pilot Fri
ends. And anyone who would enjoy a good story!   


 

 

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Thanks Don for posting, since I was a young boy the P-51 has been my all time favorite aircraft, reading that I felt I was there watching it!!!

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Don: 
Thank you for a great read.  The P-51 is also my all time favorite WW ll war bird.
I know exactly how that young lad must have felt.  I was almost there.....  
Lobo
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P-51 Mustang was a favorite of mine as well. My next door neighbor growing up was a former P-51 pilot and at the time was a pilot for TWA. I was at Expo 67 in Montreal at the age of 18 with my then girlfriend Gail and her family. Was a good time ... and was my first 'legal' beer. Thanks for the memory Don. 

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In 1967 when this probably took place, I was a flight instructor at the two airports in OKC. Our main flight school was at 

Will Rogers World Airport. The smaller airport, Wiley Post was used mostly by private aviation and we also had a branch

of our school there. Among the pilots that had aircraft at that airport was one old timer that all of pilots knew and liked. 

He was very friendly to all us wet behind the ears pilots and he was also the pilot/owner of a P-51 Mustang. I think the 

Aero Commander Co. was his sponsor so he could fly around the USA and  put on air shows with the P-51.

Many times we "youngsters" saw that same plane and pilot show how it was done in times past. 

One of his best "stunts" was from the traffic  pattern altitude as he was on down wind to land he would cut the engine

off, turn base leg, turn final, lower the landing gear, land and taxi to the  parking area WITHOUT RESTARTING THE MOTOR!

That takes talent and big ones!

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Why  Grandpa carries a gun
 


Please  take time to read.  It is all facts which will give us a clearer  picture of why our freedoms have lasted as long as they have.
The  quintessential reason why Grandpa carries a gun.
Please  take time to read this and pay particular attention    to   "A Little Gun History" about half way down –      staggering  numbers!
      
 Why  Carry a Gun?

My  old Grandpa said to me, 'Son, there comes a time in   every  man's life when he stops bustin' knuckles and starts   bustin'  caps and usually it's when he becomes too old to   take  a whoopin'.'
      
       I  don't carry a gun to kill people; I carry a gun to  keep   from  being killed.
      
      I  don't carry a gun because I'm evil; I carry a gun  because   I  have lived long enough to see the evil in the World.
      
       I  don't carry a gun because I hate the government; I carry a gun  because I understand the limitations of government.
     
       I  don't carry a gun because I'm angry; I carry a gun so that I  don't have to spend the rest of my life hating myself for  failing to be prepared.
      
      I  don't carry a gun because I want to shoot someone; I   carry  a gun because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed and not  on a sidewalk somewhere tomorrow afternoon.
              
     
      I  don't carry a gun to make me feel like a man; I carry a gun  because men know how to take care of themselves   and  the ones they love.
     
       I  don't carry a gun because I feel inadequate; I carry a gun  because unarmed and facing three armed thugs, I am  inadequate.
     
       I  don't carry a gun because I love it; I carry a gun  because   I  love life and the people who make it meaningful to  me.
     
       Police  protection is an oxymoron: Free citizens must   protect  themselves because police do not protect you   from  crime; they just investigate the crime after it happens and then  call someone in to clean up the mess.
      
       Personally,  I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take a  whoopin'!
     
      A  LITTLE GUN HISTORY
     
 PLEASE   DON'T  THINK  FOR  A  MOMENT,THAT
THIS   COULDN'T HAPPEN  IN  OUR  COUNTRY  ALSO  !!!!!!
 In  1929, the Soviet Union established gun control:
  From  1929 to 1953,  about 20 million dissidents,   unable  to defend themselves, were rounded up and  exterminated.
-----------------------
In 1911, Turkey  established gun control:
  From  1915 to 1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend  themselves, were rounded up and  exterminated.
-----------------------
Germany established  gun control in 1938:
      From  1939 to 1945, a total of 13 million Jews and others who  were   unable  to defend themselves were rounded up and  exterminated.
-----------------------
China established  gun control in 1935: From 1948 to
      ·             1952,  20 million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves,  were rounded up and  exterminated.
-----------------------
Guatemala  established gun control in 1964:
     ·        From  1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to  defend    themselves,  were rounded up and  exterminated.
-----------------------
Uganda    established gun control in 1970:
     ·               From  1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves,  were rounded up and  exterminated.
-----------------------
Cambodia established  gun control in 1956:
     ·               From  1975 to 1977, one million educated people, unable to defend  themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.    
-----------------------
56  million defenseless people were rounded up and exterminated in  the 20th Century because of gun control.    
-----------------------
You  won't see this data on the US evening news, or hear politicians  disseminating this information.
     
      ·               Guns  in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and,  yes, gun-control laws adversely affect only the law-abiding  citizens.
     
      With  guns, we are 'citizens'; without them, we are  'subjects'.
     
      During  WW II, the Japanese decided not to invade   America because  they knew most Americans were ARMED!
          
     ·               Gun  owners in the USA are one of the largest armed forces  in   the  World!
     
      ·           If  you value your freedom, please spread this anti-gun   control  message to all of your friends.
     
      ·           The  purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible   victory  in defense.
     
      ·               The  sword is more important than the shield and skill is more  important than either. 
     
      ·           SWITZERLAND   ISSUES  A GUN TO EVERY HOUSEHOLD!  SWITZERLAND'S GOVERNMENT ISSUES  AND TRAINS EVERY ADULT IN THE USE OF A  RIFLE.
     
      ·               SWITZERLAND HAS  THE LOWEST GUN RELATED CRIME RATE OF ANY CIVILIZED COUNTRY IN  THE WORLD!!!
     
      ·               IT'S  A NO BRAINER! DON'T LET OUR  GOVERNMENT   WASTE  MILLIONS OF OUR TAX DOLLARS IN AN EFFORT TO MAKE ALL LAW-ABIDING  CITIZENS AN EASY TARGET.
     ·               
I'm  a firm believer in the 2nd Amendment! If you are too, please  forward this. If you're not a believer, please reconsider the  true facts. This is history; not what's being shown
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More on Modern Romance
 
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant 
 
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table saying, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."
 
Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband."
 
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
 
The husband thought for a moment: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."  

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
 
So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof  
 
The husband became 92 years old. 
 
The moral of this story: 
 
Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember,
 
Fairies are female. 
 
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